Idol Contest
by johnsmithpocahontas
Summary: Hmm. Tohru, Kagura, and Kisa joins an AllGirls Idol Competiton. But what happens when Yuki, Ritsu, and Momiji disguises themselves as girls and also competes?
1. The Sign

**Idol Contest!!!**

**AHHH! PLEASE, NO FLAMES!**

Shigure thought and thought. They were running out of money but what is there to help them get money? Shigure, Hatori, and Ayame drove around town together in Hatori's mini-van while they thought.

"Hey, hey, hey, Hatori...If we're trying to save money, don't you think the gas will be expensive?" Shigure asked.

"Oh my, I hadn't thought of that." Hatori immediatly turned the engine off as the three men sat in the car and thought.

Shigure noticed a sign on a pole, a sign about an idol contest.

**Idol Contest**

**Have you always wanted to be an idol? Well, go ahead and sign up!**

**Females only**

**and you must know how to**

**sing,**

**dance,**

**act,**

**be a beauty-perfectionist,**

**and a model!**

"Hey, how about we have some of the girls in our family sign up for the Idol Contest?!?!" Shigure suggested.

"Ooooh!" Ayame exclaimed, clapping his feminine hands together. "That will be so much fun!!"

Hatori smiled. "Yeah, I guess it would. Do you think Tohru would sign up for the job?"

Shigure thought. "Yeah, sure, she'll do just about everything for us."

"WHICH means we'll share our earning money with her, right, guys?" Hatori said sharply.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course!" Ayame cried. "Ooh! And think! Maybe I can get Mine to lend the girls some of our clothes!"

"Do you really have to ask her? I mean, you're her BOSS!" Shigure said.

"Well, I still think it's more polite to ask. I don't want her to think the place has gone bankrupt."

"How about Kagura?" Hatori asked.

"Duh, she'll do anything she thinks is fun and girly," Shigure hissed.

"Hey, you don't know that!" Ayame protested.

"Guys, guys, stop it," Hatori ordered. "And so Tohru and Kagura--check. How about Kisa?"

"Kisa? Maybe, if Haru persuades her to," Shigure suggested.

"You mean, WHITE Haru," Ayame said smartfully (word??).

Shigure and Hatori turned slowly towards Ayame.

Ayame blinked. "What? I think it's more specific if you call him White Haru. You never know if someone else means Black Haru."

"Ayame, you got it bad. Maybe you should go see a doctor or something." Hatori shook his head.

Shigure raised his hand. "Oh, I know! Hatori, you're a doctor, maybe you should give him a check-up appointment."

Hatori sighed. "Am I surrounded by insane people?"

"When you're a Sohma, you might as well be," the two replied.

Hatori shook his head. "Never mind. Let's get back to the point, guys. So Tohru and Kagura would do it, and maybe Kisa. Do you think Rin would do it?"

The two shook their heads.

"Are you crazy?" Shigure asked.

"She's still in the hospital, Hatori," Ayame said, more politely than Shigure (obviously). "I think it would take a miracle for her to agree AND to feel better."

"Fine, then, how about...Ritsu?"

"HUH?" Ayame and Shigure asked.

"Well, Ritsu obviously looks like a woman when he feels like it. I think he'd enjoy it. His sex is male, but you should know that he has got women's genes inside him too."

"True."

"So Ritsu's on the list...how about Yuki?"

"WHAT?!!" the two men screamed.

Shigure then shook his head. "You know, Ayame, Hatori's got a point. Yuki can pass for a girl."

Ayame thought about it and then clapped. "Yay! My younger brother is finally learning how to be a woman!"

They all (but him) sweat-dropped at the squealing snake. They raised a fist and punched him down onto the back of the car seat. "SIT, SNAKE!"

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**NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!**


	2. AHH! The Attack of The Sohmas! Poor Yuki

FAMILY MEETING AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE...

"WHAT?! Are you insane? I am NOT ever going to dress up as a girl to help your selfishness!" Yuki spat.

Shigure patted him down. "Relax, Yuki..."

Tohru clapped her hands. "Oh, this will be so much fun!"

Kagura hugged her. "I'll help you with your make up right after I do mine!" They both laughed and squealed. "THIS WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!"

"If you're female, you might as well enjoy it," Yuki muttered, but the two girls ignored him.

"Do you think I'm worthy enough to be part of the competition?" Ritsu asked worriedly, as for Ritsu and Tohru are such worrywarts.

"Yeah, of course you are!" Momiji laughed.

"But what happens if they find out I'm a man?" Ritsu asked.

"Don't worry, it'll take a psychic to find out." Everyone thought about Hanajima.

"No, you're not bringing her!" Hiro snapped at Tohru.

Tohru groaned. "But she's my friend!"

"Sure, you can bring her once her psychic vision meter is low," Kyo said.

"How about Uotani?" Tohru asked.

"No, she'll cause way too much destruction and trouble," Hatori said.

"No! That's not likely!" Tohru protested. "She's not one to be troublesome."

They heard shrieks and looked outside. There, they saw Uotani being chased down by a pack of tigers.

"Tohru, you spoke too soon," Hatsuharu said quietly.

"Hey, was it just me or was that a pack of hungry tigers?" Hiro and Kyo asked at the same time.

"Knowing her, she'd probably gone all the way to Africa, and then back, but unknowingly, brought a pack of tigers with her," Haru said with a sweat-drop.

Everyone (but Tohru, Ritsu, Yuki, and Kisa) nodded, saying, "True, true."

"Come on, you guys, I read the sign, and it says the contest is going to start tomorrow early in the morning," Shigure said. "We should get ready."

Yuki shook his head. "NO, there's nothing in the earth you could do to make me wear a skirt!"

"Hatori, grab Yuki's head while I grab his legs!" Haru commanded.

"Right!" Hatori grabbed Yuki's head.

Shigure held up his head. "EVERYONE, ATTACK YUKI!!!!!!!!!!"

As he watched Yuki getting attacked, Ayame cheered. "Oh, my little brother is finally wearing a skirt!"

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**PLEASE NO FLAMES!!!!!! ANYWAY, EVERYONE ENJOY!**


	3. Entering the Place

A flustered girly Yuki stood with his family while they were waiting in line to get into the show. Yuki wore a wig that was the same color shade as Yuki's original hair color, but just longer, down to the midlength of his chest. Yuki was forced into wearing a bra (not a big bra, just bras girls usually wear to school or whatever), make up, white high-heeled shoes, and a beach dress that girls usually wear to the beach or on a cruise.

Ritsu felt perfectly normal wearing a yellowish-white sundress.

The crew forced Momiji into dressing up as a girl as well. Momiji wore a long blonde wig, a short yellow mini-skirt, a yellow frilly tank-top, a pair of dark sunglasses, and a beach hat.

The line went by slowly, and finally, the Sohma family (with one Honda) stepped up to the lady standing at the desk.

The lady smiled at them and straightened up her back. "Hello…how many people are entering?"

"Um…" Hatori said, looking around as he counted the girls (and disguised boys). "Um…six, I think."

"And are you all family?"

"Yes!" Haru answered.

"Only one girl can join per family."

The Sohma family paused and all looked towards Haru.

"I—I—I mean yes, we are not all family."

"That doesn't make sense," Kyo whispered to Haru, but Haru stomped on his foot.

The lady raised her eyes at them, but still suspicious, however. "Um…oookay…Names?"

Hiro spook up. "Yuki, Tohru, Kisa, Ritsu, Momiji, and Kagura."

The lady nodded and wrote the names down. She handed the girls (wink, wink) each a number tag.

Momiji was the twenty-sixth, Kisa was the thirteenth (ooh, unlucky number), Kagura was the thirtieth, Ritsu was the fifth, Tohru was the twenty-second, and Yuki was the seventeenth.

"You may continue," the lady said.

The entire family was about to pass by, but then the lady spoke up, "The ones participating can continue…The rest of you head that way to choose your seats before everyone else takes it. Oh, and good luck, contestants!"

The Sohma (and one Honda) contestants nodded at her, feeling a little (or not so little) awkward. "Right…"

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**NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. Tohru and Ritsu's Dance!

As the men headed to pick their seats, the contestants headed to the changing room to get their make up checked and their clothes checked. As they were walking, Yuki asked, "How come so many of us Sohmas have to compete in this stupid thing? I mean, can't one person do it?"

"You know Shigure," Kagura said.

"He knows that if one of us lost, the others can still compete," Kisa finished.

They all sweat-dropped. "What a cheap-o," Yuki muttered.

After they checked over with their make up and clothes, they heard a man speak into a microphone, "Ladies and gentlemen! Let us present our contestants! Akio, Miki…" after a while, the speaker finally announced the Sohmas.

The Sohmas all headed out to stage. The light was really bright, but not bright enough to blind any of them. Even within a few ten minutes, the entire musical room was filled with people and loud whoops.

"Now, contestants…Are you ready?" the speaker man asked.

Everyone yelled, "YES!"

The man smiled. "Then for our first contest…dancing! Each of you must have one partner. Now…pick them within five minute! Go!"

_No way…Not DANCING!_ Yuki thought miserably.

In the crowd, Kyo was laughing his insides out silently. He nudged Shigure.

"Hmm?"

"Yuki's not going to last an _hour_ in this competition."

"Oh…shoot…if he doesn't win, I'll sure kill him!!!"

"Um…" Kagura shuttered as she spoke to her family and friends. "Okay! Let's just get this over with and quickly! Tohru, you're with Ritsu. Kisa with Momiji and I'll be with Yuki!"

"Right!" The six of them feminine GIRLS pumped their fists in the air. "GO SOHMA!!" (I don't know where I came up with that!!! ;P)

"ALLLLRIGHT!" the mike-man yelled into the mike. "Let's get ready for the first partnership! Tohru and Momiji!"

"OH, NO!" the two very-alike worrywarts yelled out in fright. "WE'RE FIRST! OH, WHAT EVER WILL WE DO????"

Momiji rolled his eyes and pushed them out into the spotlight. "Good luck, minna!"

Tohru and Ritsu nearly froze right there on stage. "U-um…" The two started spazzing out as they danced the opposite direction.

In the end, they both fell on top each other.

Ritsu stood up quickly and bowed three times to Tohru. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I really am! I'm not worthy for you—"

"No, that's alright!" Tohru giggled. She held onto his wrist as she pulled him off stage.

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**NO FLAMES!!!!!**


	5. Yuki and Kagura's Dance! OOH!

"Al…right…" the mike-man said. "For our next two contestants, Yuki and Kagura!"

"YUKI AND KAGURA?!?!" Haru nearly screamed.

"Man, this has _got_ to be a life," Hiro said.

"Ooh, my little brother is finally dancing!" Ayame said cheerfully.

"I'll bet you that they'll stink really bad," Kyo said to Shigure.

Shigure nodded. "They must be the worst couple out of the entire Sohma family. Hey, say, did you bring a camera, Kyo?"

Kyo thought about it. "Hmm, no."

"Oh, you know what?" Haru held up a video camera. "I brought this just in case someone falls."

Shigure took it. "Thanks, man."

"Yeah, you owe me."

"Yeah—wait, what?"

Ayame, Hiro, and Kyo shook their heads with sweat-drops.

On stage…

Yuki and Kagura walked out the stage with bulging eyes.

"Uh, I don't know about you, but do you want to make the first move?" Yuki whispered to Kagura.

The song came on. It was sort of like the dance when you grab onto your partner's hand with one hand and their waist with the other, and just walk around the room with big steps. Uh…confusing…I think it's Italian or French. I'm not sure.

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**NO FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry about the short chapter!**


	6. Yuki and Kagura's REAL Dance!

The two were having lots of trouble dancing.

"No, you don't do that," Yuki said. "It's step, step, step, left, right, right, left, and then back, back, back!"

"Well, am I SUPPOSED to understand that?!?!" Kagura argued.

"Yes!"

The crowd blinked at the two.

Kagura laughed. "That is so….." she holds out a fist the size of a boulder "…FUNNY!" She starts chasing him around the whole stage.

"NO!! DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!"

"I thought you were good at marshal arts!" Haru called.

Yuki stopped. "Oh, you're right."

Kagura swung her boulder-sized fist at Yuki, but Yuki stopped it by holding out his hand.

The crowd oohed. "OOOOOOOOOH….AHHHHHHHH…."

The mike-man let out a laugh. "AMAZING!!!!!! But I thought we were dancing….So, dance."

Yuki slowly turns to the man and blinked. "….No."

Kagura turns back to the normal Kagura (if there was ever a normal Kagura) and smiles.

"We did it!" she cheers. "For a second, I thought I was going to die…" she clapped her hands to her cheeks "…because I'M SO SHY!!!!!"

"No, you're not," Yuki said, and yanks her off the stage.

"OOOOKAY……." The mike-man blinks. "Next off…"

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**Hi!!! Guys!!! NO FLAMES PLEASE!!! ACK! I'M AFRAID OF FLAMES!!!!!!!!!**

**Anyways, I don't even know why I didn't write down the next two dancers even though it was going to list their names on the next chapter anywayz….**

**I guess it was for dramatic pause……OOOKAYY….I guess not…**

**THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING THIS (AND THE TWO WHO REVIEWED IT)!!!!!**

**I'VE BEEN TOO LAZY TO UPDATE……AHH….SUMMER FEELS NICE!!!!!!!!!!!**

**I WENT TO BOSTON TODAY!! IT STUNK BECAUSE MY MOM AND DAD GOT LOST, BUT THEY WOULDN'T "ADMIT" IT SO WE HAD TO DRIVE AROUND TO FIND THIS PLACE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR!!!!!!!! cries**

**LAST NIGHT, MY NEIGHBORS (WHOM I DO not LIKE) SHOT huuuuuuuuge FIREWORKS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!! IT WAS ILLEGAL IN OUR STATE (NH)!!!!!!!!**


	7. Kisa and Momiji's Dance or er Talk

"Kisa and Momiji…!!!!!!!"

Kisa and Momiji stepped out onto the stage.

"GOO KISA!!!" Hiro yelled.

Shigure, Kyo, Haru, and Hatori turned to Hiro. "What was that?"

Hiro turned red. "You guys must've heard wrong."

"Did he just say 'Go Kisa'?" Shigure asked.

"No, I think he said 'Goo Kisa'…" Haru said.

"Why the heck would he say 'Goo Kisa'???!!!" Kyo demanded.

"I don't know. Maybe he wants to dump goo on her." Haru shrugged.

"That makes sense." Shigure nods professionally.

"No that wouldn't," Hatori said. "Unless he said 'Boo Kisa'. That would make sense."

"Oooooh…tsk, tsk, tsk," Shigure said. "I'll tell Kisa you just BOOED her."

Five seconds later…

"Did you just say 'BOOED'??" Kyo blinked.

"YOU GUYS GOT IT ALL WRONG, IDIOTS!!" Hiro screamed.

The mike-man stared at Hiro. "What, young man, did I get wrong?"

"I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE!!"

"YEAH!!!" Haru said. "He was talking to us!!"

Five seconds later…

Haru gasped. "You were talking to us?? I feel so insulted."

Hiro sighed.

The mike-man shook his head and looked back at Kisa and Momiji. "You two may begin."

Momiji held up his radio slowly, and was about to press the button, but then he puts it down. "I'm kidding. We're not using music."

The mike-man blinked. "Then what else would you be using? OHHHHH….I get it…So you two are dancing silently. How…wonderful."

Momiji shook his head. "Nope! We decided to talk to you."

Kisa nodded. "We decided that since you look bored, we figured that it was best to cheer you up."

The mike-man averted his eyes slowly from left to right. "Uh…"

Momiji held out two comfy chairs and placed them in front of the mike-man.

Kisa and Momiji sat on the chairs.

"Now, what has been going on in your life?" Kisa asked.

"Uh…great…"

"And how do you feel about that?" Momiji asked.

Dramatic pause.

Momiji cracked up. "I heard that on TV! I just wanted to say that. AHEM. Anywayz…Has anything bad happened to you?"

"Yeah, my girlfriend just broke up with me!!! It was so sad!!!! It turns out that she was actually dating me for my money. Oh, and then my mommy and daddy disowned me...Jeez…I was broke so this was the only job that was offered so—I'm going to shut up now."

"That'd be great," Momiji and Kisa said.

"And you two are going back behind the curtains so that another pair would come up."

"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

But they got out anyways.

So the couples went on and on with dancing and then the judges decided what their score was………

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**No flames please (I said please - he-he-he-he)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, also, r & r please (he-he-he…there it is again…)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	8. Scores

Okay, I won't write in the other people's score, and so I'll just fast-forward to the Sohma's (and one Honda!!! Don't forget!!)!!!!

"Tohru and Ritsu, come out!" the mike-man calls.

Tohru and Ritsu come out from behind the curtains and bowed as the spotlight shown on them.

"So," the mike-man says, "what do you think of Tohru and Ritsu, judges?"

(The judges are Kina, Rina, and Lina!!!)

Kina held out a board that read 2.

Rina held out a board that read 4.

Lina held out a board that read 3. "Both of them are too ditsy."

Tohru shrugged and Ritsu screamed.

"AHHHH! I'M NOT WORTHY ENOUGH!!! I'M SO SORRY, TOHRU-KUN!! I'M SO SORRY, JUDGES!!!!! I'M SORRY TO THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!"

Shigure hopped on the stage and poked Ritsu with his fan.

Ritsu collapsed.

"Thank you, stranger, but I advise you to go back down or else you would be kicked out. Only important people are allowed on the stage," the mike-man orders.

Shigure wimpers and cries his way down to his seat. "Fine!!"

"The score would equal up to be 8," the mike-man says.

"Oh, actually, that would be 9," Tohru corrected.

"No, 8."

"9."

"No. 8."

"JUST ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG AND LET IT GO!!" someone from the crowd yelled. That was actually Kyo.

"Fine. Anyways, Yuki, Kagura, may you two please come out!!"

Some music goes on as Yuki and Kagura steps out onto the stage.

"So, Kina, Rina, Lina, what do you think of Yuki and Kagura?" the mike-man asks.

Kina let out a "pft" and held out the sign: 1.

Rina held out a board that read: 1.

Lina held out a board that read: 0. "For violence."

Everyone eyes Kagura.

"I am so pretty, aren't I?" Kagura cheers. "YAY!"

"Go figure," Yuki muttered.

"That would equal up to 2, thank you very much."

Yuki and Kagura left as Momiji and Kisa came out.

"Wait," the mike-man said. "I didn't call you two out yet."

"Yeah, but you're going to," Momiji said.

"You never know what fate pulls you. Now get back behind the curtains."

And so Kisa and Momiji walked behind the curtains.

"Okay," the mike-man says. "Now…Momiji and Kisa, please come out."

Momiji and Kisa went out.

"What do you think of Momiji and Kisa?" the mike-man asks Kina, Rina, and Lina.

Kina held out: 0.

Rina held out: 0.

Lina held out: 10.

The mike-man was surprised at the result. "OKAAY…"

"YAY!!!" Momiji and Kisa high-fived each other.

The mike-man called out, "It would be a 10."

"Oh, I meant a 10 below zero," Lina said and marked a minus sign before the 10.

"Figures…So it would be a 10 below zero!!!!"

Score so far:

Tohru and Ritsu: 8

Kagura and Yuki: 2

Kisa and Momiji: -10

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**No flames please!!!!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING MY BOOK IF YOU ARE ENJOYING IT?!?!?!?!?!?!**

**My twin sister is being so annoying right now.**

**She's watching a new episode of Cory in the House (is that what it's called???) with my mommy.**

**The episode when Raven visits Cory…I think it is SOOOO weird that they made Raven in college!!!**

**It stinks!!!**

**Anyways…ENJOY!**


	9. Patient Tohru and Doctor Ritsu!

"Now, the next competition is acting!!!!!!!!!" the mike-man calls out. "Same pairings. Each partnership must act out as if they are in the hospital!!! Now, go gather with your partner and figure out a plan!"

Everyone rushed about their plans.

"Okay, time's up!" the mike-man yells.

"But that was only five seconds!"

"This is a competition. Do you want to do it, or not?!?! It takes a true idol to work hard as this!!!"

The parings acted and acted, and then it finally came to Tohru and Ritsu.

Tohru was dressed as a nurse while Ritsu dressed as the doctor.

They came upon the stage.

"Wait," the mike-man says. "Where's the patient?"

"Huh?" the two of them asked.

"Where's the patient that you're going to cure?? How can you make a skit with just a doctor and a patient???"

"We can talk," Ritsu said.

"Oh, yes!" Tohru agreed. "Doctors and nurses talk to each other, right??"

The mike-man clamped a hand over his face, and then said, "Okay, then go."

"Oh, my!" Nurse Tohru said to Doctor Ritsu. "My name is Tohru! I am new here! As a nurse, Doctor Ritsu!"

"Hello, Nurse Tohru! I am Doctor Ritsu…..As you just said…Hmm…"

The mike-man blinked. "Uh…lovely skit…you two can go away now."

Tohru and Ritsu bowed and then went behind the curtains.

"Next is….Yuki and Kagura!!!!!"

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**HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, jeez, I just updated, like, four chapters in this one hour!!!! Anyway, r & r and NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!**


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